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User blog:Order of the Command Block/Silence (Fanfiction)
Kind of a prediction-fiction Jesse-centric oneshot. I'm going with my Jesse, so he/she will be female here. Key: Normal text. Normal thoughts. ' Admin/Gauntlet telepathy '. ---- "Being a hero isn't all it's cracked up to be." It was such a common quote. It was so easily tossed around. Jesse outright refused to say it. She wouldn't let that cursed phrase slip out. Jesse had never been one for attention. Years ago, when it was just her, Axel, Olivia, and Reuben, the only attention they got was for derision and ridicule. After they became heroes, the taunting and bullying stopped. While a few people still remained who hated the remaining members of that small squad, Jesse had managed to escape it for the most part. Still, both she and Olivia were never fully comfortable with the crowds and admiration. Axel, however, seemed to relish in it, as if he was trying to make up for the attention he should've gotten long ago. The brown haired girl still hated drawing attention to herself. That being said, five years alone doesn't seem like such a bad thing, right? Wrong. The New Order of the Stone was taken apart slowly. When Harper started joining Ivor on his adventures, they stopped seeing him as often. The old man was always off on other worlds. Then Olivia got to become a professor at Redstonia. After thinking about it for a few days, she left. Lukas wanted to work on his books more. He was gone as well. Axel went to help deal with Boom Town. It was then that Petra decided to adventure alone. Jesse couldn't go with her, seeing as Beacon Town was adamant about Jesse being the "leader" there. That began countless years of solitude. The others were busy with their new jobs. None of them could see each other. What set Jesse apart from the others is that she didn't know anyone as friends in Beacon Town. It was a town of her old tormenters, her friends' tormenters, and the people she'd suffered for just to keep them alive. In their eyes, she was a hero. In Jesse's eyes, she was a failure. She couldn't do anything right. And no matter how many times she smiled or acted like she agreed with the others on calling her a "hero", she'd never believe it. The people around her acted like she was someone worthy of attention. This only built a wall between her and the company Jesse sought. Lots of the civilians considered Jesse to be above them. Jesse realized that she'd never be able to get true friendship from the people she wanted to protect. The tanned girl was left with her thoughts to talk with. She only got to talk to people when problems arose and the townspeople came to Jesse so she could deal with it. Jesse kept a straight face throughout everything. She considered everyone there a friend, but not a person she could confide in. They couldn't help her. The others didn't have to deal with this problem. Axel got to talk with greifers, and he greatly enjoyed talking with Magnus. Olivia talked with other Redstonists and other professors. Ivor had Harper to be with. Petra met people on her adventures. Lukas had his cat and horse, not to mention he got to talk with a lot of people while making a new story. Jesse was happy for them. Jesse had been practically starving for real human interaction by the time Radar came around. He wanted to help out, and Jesse was overjoyed at the thought of having a friend. Once again, she realized it wasn't going to be true friendship. Jesse was apparently Radar's idol, or one of his biggest heroes. He placed Jesse on a pedestal he was never going to touch. Radar worried about Jesse's work first, friendship later. Jesse was already drowning in work. Four years of silence and isolation. Then one year of constant reminders of a thing that can never be. Sure, now Jesse was with her other friends on a journey, but it wasn’t even remotely the same. Ivor and Harper were still gone. Petra and Lukas, the only two the brunette knew from the New Order of the Stone that were actually there, were busy learning about other adventures. Stella was too busy trying to act above it all to actually do much of anything. Radar was interested in trying to learn Villagerese with Nurm. Jesse was happy for them. She wasn’t mad. Jesse rarely got mad. Her friends were happy, so why shouldn't she? The girl simply walked with her friends in silence. She was on a quest to save the world. Her feelings didn't matter. At least they talked to her when Jesse was needed. All the silence really did was heighten a little problem. The Admin didn't seem to want to be quiet. Jesse knew not to listen to it. She wasn't trying to hear the words, but they were playing in her head. She couldn't escape them. ' If they really cared, Jesse, they would notice your pain. ' Those were the types of sentences that kept being sent to Jesse. She had given up trying to stop them. Jesse bit her lip and continued on walking. The Admin continued whispering to her. Words of betrayal, loneliness, and abandonment echoed in Jesse's mind. It had been going on for so long, Jesse couldn't tell her own thoughts apart from them sometimes. ' You asked for this. You wanted someone to talk to you. ' The Admin whispered. Jesse faltered in her steps. She hadn’t heard that one before. ' You see the truth in my words. ' Jesse recovered their footing and acted like nothing happened. The Admin was right about one thing: They did ask for someone to talk to them. However, Jesse wanted friendship. Instead, she was given a cage. The short girl looked at all her friends, who were oblivious to it all. They shouldn't have to deal with any of the Admin's words, so Jesse said nothing. It wouldn’t give them anything good. She wanted to have her friends back. She wanted to believe in them again. She wanted the Admin to stop talking to her. Jesse would be happy with just one word uttered to her in an actual conversation. Jesse was in a cage, drowning in words and thoughts that hopefully weren't hers. It was still silent. Nothing had changed. I''T'' 's F''i''nE. Category:Blog posts